The emotional pain and torment of a breakup can be difficult on even the toughest guys. You would probably prefer physical pain over what you may be going through. At least you would have some sort of idea of how quickly you would heal and a doctor could tell you what to do to speed the process. The torment comes from knowing exactly what will end your pain. If your girlfriend or wife would simply give you a second chance then the path to healing would be simple. You would have something to do. You would have a goal and you would come up with a plan to bring the two of you back together again.
Whether you were married to the woman that you love or she was just your girlfriend, the pain is no different. The healing process and the process of restoring your relationship should also be no different. Women are women and whether you had a piece of paper saying that you would be together forever or not, there was probably a time when both of you said or wished that you would be together until the end of time. Getting over your pain, rebuilding your self-confidence and getting her back will be the same no matter if we are talking about a wayward wife or girlfriend. It also doesn't matter what is going on in her life. It doesn't matter if she is with some other guy or not. You will see that these methods which are loosely based upon what is suggested to get a combat soldier through stress will help you to get your ex back more quickly than you might otherwise think.
There is a process that men use when they come out of combat that is called debriefing. You will use this same process to remove the emotions from what happened in your relationship. You'll look at everything factually and without emotion. You should allow yourself a grieving process before this but try not to get too caught up in these feelings of pity, remorse or sadness. As you debrief yourself, you will recount what happened, what you did wrong in the relationship, what you did right and what your ex did all in a very factual manner. You will understand what you could have done differently but you will not dwell upon this or beat yourself up for any mistakes that you may have made. There is nothing that you can do about the past so you will simply be learning from your mistakes at this point.
Beating yourself up or being upset with yourself over something that you did in the past is not healthy or helpful. You can see that you did things wrong but it is simply impossible to change the past. Removing the emotions from these incidents is necessary for your healing as well as for your success in the future. You are like a soldier who is learning from a past battle and becoming educated about what works and what doesn't. Freeing yourself from this emotional baggage is necessary for your success in the future. You are living and learning from the past.
In the next step you will be rebuilding yourself back into the man that you once were, but better. You have been through a lot so you deserve to be treated well. This means taking some time to decompress and enjoy your life for a short while before it is time to get back to work. This is called rest and relaxation. Do the things that make you happy and which make life worth living. Rest assured in knowing that you have the ability to get your girlfriend or wife back but right now is your moment to do some things that bring a smile to your face.
Avoid the temptation to go out and get drunk with your friends. This might be what your friends suggest but more often than not, alcohol will depress you and make you slide back into the mourning process. You will be tempted to contact your ex. Your mind will play tricks on you and you might be tempted to call your ex to let them know that you're doing well or that you still love them. Resist this temptation and put some distance between you and your girlfriend or wife. Go for a short trip or spend a weekend away from your home town. Find a place that is serene or which distracts you from everything that happened before, during and after your breakup. Getting away from the things that remind you about your ex is important right now.
When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.
At this moment right now, you might still feel emotional and doubtful that she is every going to come back. That's fine. This is to be expected. You're still in an emotional state. Once you begin to feel better and you regain your self-confidence, you will understand that getting your girlfriend or wife to fall in love with you again isn't very difficult. If you are able to focus on her emotions while appearing strong and confident, she will fall in love with you again for sure. Remember that you're the man in the relationship and that she wants you to be the man. Avoid the temptation of letting your own emotions play a role in your decision making process and you will find that getting her back isn't very difficult at all.
Whether you were married to the woman that you love or she was just your girlfriend, the pain is no different. The healing process and the process of restoring your relationship should also be no different. Women are women and whether you had a piece of paper saying that you would be together forever or not, there was probably a time when both of you said or wished that you would be together until the end of time. Getting over your pain, rebuilding your self-confidence and getting her back will be the same no matter if we are talking about a wayward wife or girlfriend. It also doesn't matter what is going on in her life. It doesn't matter if she is with some other guy or not. You will see that these methods which are loosely based upon what is suggested to get a combat soldier through stress will help you to get your ex back more quickly than you might otherwise think.
There is a process that men use when they come out of combat that is called debriefing. You will use this same process to remove the emotions from what happened in your relationship. You'll look at everything factually and without emotion. You should allow yourself a grieving process before this but try not to get too caught up in these feelings of pity, remorse or sadness. As you debrief yourself, you will recount what happened, what you did wrong in the relationship, what you did right and what your ex did all in a very factual manner. You will understand what you could have done differently but you will not dwell upon this or beat yourself up for any mistakes that you may have made. There is nothing that you can do about the past so you will simply be learning from your mistakes at this point.
Beating yourself up or being upset with yourself over something that you did in the past is not healthy or helpful. You can see that you did things wrong but it is simply impossible to change the past. Removing the emotions from these incidents is necessary for your healing as well as for your success in the future. You are like a soldier who is learning from a past battle and becoming educated about what works and what doesn't. Freeing yourself from this emotional baggage is necessary for your success in the future. You are living and learning from the past.
In the next step you will be rebuilding yourself back into the man that you once were, but better. You have been through a lot so you deserve to be treated well. This means taking some time to decompress and enjoy your life for a short while before it is time to get back to work. This is called rest and relaxation. Do the things that make you happy and which make life worth living. Rest assured in knowing that you have the ability to get your girlfriend or wife back but right now is your moment to do some things that bring a smile to your face.
Avoid the temptation to go out and get drunk with your friends. This might be what your friends suggest but more often than not, alcohol will depress you and make you slide back into the mourning process. You will be tempted to contact your ex. Your mind will play tricks on you and you might be tempted to call your ex to let them know that you're doing well or that you still love them. Resist this temptation and put some distance between you and your girlfriend or wife. Go for a short trip or spend a weekend away from your home town. Find a place that is serene or which distracts you from everything that happened before, during and after your breakup. Getting away from the things that remind you about your ex is important right now.
When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.
At this moment right now, you might still feel emotional and doubtful that she is every going to come back. That's fine. This is to be expected. You're still in an emotional state. Once you begin to feel better and you regain your self-confidence, you will understand that getting your girlfriend or wife to fall in love with you again isn't very difficult. If you are able to focus on her emotions while appearing strong and confident, she will fall in love with you again for sure. Remember that you're the man in the relationship and that she wants you to be the man. Avoid the temptation of letting your own emotions play a role in your decision making process and you will find that getting her back isn't very difficult at all.
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