Among the reasons approaching a beautiful woman is so difficult is the congruence test. A beautiful woman gets hit on as much as 15 times a day! Because of this, she needs a super efficient system to quickly filter out the monkeys from the possibles.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are really as confident as you seem to be, typically by throwing a fussy remark or insulting you in some manner. It is to see how you, their potential date, responds to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you may have the ability to handle her in real life.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your self-confidence so that a poser would run away. These are a taste of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"How much money do you make?"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
"How old are you?"
"Run along, shorty."
"Sorry, I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my personal favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
No mercy! If you experienced a congruence test, it seems like you've been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut ... Meanwhile, your ego plummets quicker than you can flee from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and does not necessarily mean the woman is not interested. There are four strategies you can employ to turn her rudeness into a flirt and prove to her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy at times.
1) Flipping the script
Flipping the script means that you're using whatever she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only speak with good looking guys." You can simply reply, "Is that why you're so attracted to me?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can reply, "Yeah! We should lose a couple pounds together." This will startle and probably amuse her. If nothing else, it'll soften her up.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "accidentally" misinterpret it as a sexual come on. If she says "Where'd you get those ugly shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wants to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I've just met you, don't come on to me too fast." She'll end up being the surprised one, and you will successfully pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't feel like dancing right now. Maybe a little later though." Don't get caught up in her game; she really just wishes to know that you won't be frightened by it, she doesn't need a sparring partner.
4) Play along
Another method to surprise her and turn the discussion onto a more positive track is to simply make the comment playful by playing along. "I could ask you the same thing!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her hesitation to engage you but turns the confrontation into something enjoyable.
That's it!
When you get over your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to conjure up and she responds with a mean comment, it is easy to get dejected. Just remember that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came before you. But you are not an average chump, so don't hesitate - even for a second - or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she throws a congruence test at you, don't waver in your confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, stay confident, and don't let her shake that confidence.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are really as confident as you seem to be, typically by throwing a fussy remark or insulting you in some manner. It is to see how you, their potential date, responds to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you may have the ability to handle her in real life.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your self-confidence so that a poser would run away. These are a taste of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"How much money do you make?"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
"How old are you?"
"Run along, shorty."
"Sorry, I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my personal favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
No mercy! If you experienced a congruence test, it seems like you've been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut ... Meanwhile, your ego plummets quicker than you can flee from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and does not necessarily mean the woman is not interested. There are four strategies you can employ to turn her rudeness into a flirt and prove to her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy at times.
1) Flipping the script
Flipping the script means that you're using whatever she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only speak with good looking guys." You can simply reply, "Is that why you're so attracted to me?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can reply, "Yeah! We should lose a couple pounds together." This will startle and probably amuse her. If nothing else, it'll soften her up.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "accidentally" misinterpret it as a sexual come on. If she says "Where'd you get those ugly shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wants to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I've just met you, don't come on to me too fast." She'll end up being the surprised one, and you will successfully pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't feel like dancing right now. Maybe a little later though." Don't get caught up in her game; she really just wishes to know that you won't be frightened by it, she doesn't need a sparring partner.
4) Play along
Another method to surprise her and turn the discussion onto a more positive track is to simply make the comment playful by playing along. "I could ask you the same thing!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her hesitation to engage you but turns the confrontation into something enjoyable.
That's it!
When you get over your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to conjure up and she responds with a mean comment, it is easy to get dejected. Just remember that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came before you. But you are not an average chump, so don't hesitate - even for a second - or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she throws a congruence test at you, don't waver in your confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, stay confident, and don't let her shake that confidence.
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