Divorce And Grief Counseling Kansas City; Top Therapist Explains The Phases Of Divorce Related Grief

By Sharon Long


To the disbelief of many, the divorce process is bound to leave you grieving from ambiguous loss. The kind of pain you will go through is not so different what is typically experienced after the passing on of a loved one. Unfortunately, you are almost guaranteed of grieving, irrespective of whether your marriage was a complete nightmare or a bed of roses. If you feel the need to receive divorce and grief counseling Kansas City is a good place to begin research for an ideal therapist.

Once you are served with the divorce papers, the first phase you will fall into is denial. You may assume that your partner is acting out and is possibly not serious about the decision. The shock may even leave you thinking that what happened did not happen at all. The duration of the denial phase will depend on whether or not you saw a divorce coming.

After denial comes the pain and fear stage. It is common for couples to feel hurt in more than a few distinct ways. For instance, you may feel hurt and afraid of the changes that are bound to take place monetarily and emotionally. Unfortunately, not even counseling or time can promise you that all the pain will eventually go away. On the bright side, it is the pain that motivates you to do something to get out of your present predicaments.

The next stage is anger. This may involve thinking about how you exchanged your vows and how they do not mean anything at the moment. You may also get angry over the numerous times your spouse cheated or frustrated you emotionally. Those with kids may also get furious about what is happening and how it will affect the innocent children.

Because of all that is going on, including the pain, denial and anger, you may feel the urge to negotiate with your spouse. This may involve trying to do the impossible to save your sinking marriage. Even though bargaining is known to have saved some marriages, it often does not work, especially when things are already messy. You should hence focus on what your future holds for you.

When your partner gives your negotiations and promises a blind ear, you could assume that everything is your fault. This is also referred to as the guilt stage. You will think about the wrong things you did and what you would have done different. The sad truth is that individuals even blame themselves for things that were not entirely their fault.

During and after a divorce, it is common for individuals to get depressed. They will reminisce on the hardships that come with being divorced and will even hold a lot of pain, anger and regret in their hearts. All the emotional torment that takes place during this stage is what drives most people to seek therapy.

Life does not come to a halt simply because one has been divorced. The body creates a coping mechanism and it is true that time is a healer. That said, the final stage is acceptance where an individual embraces the past and focuses on the future. Getting to this phase is not easy and seeking reliable counseling would be crucial.




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