So you've met the perfect girl. She's everything that you've ever dreamed of and she's come out of nowhere. She's beautiful and clever and a lot of fun to be around.
You think about your ex all the time. Every morning you relive the pain and emotions of being alone. There's anger, sorrow, depression and a feeling of worthlessness that goes along with each and every breakup no matter what the circumstances might have been.
Getting past that pain and those emotions just isn't as easy as people might lead you to believe. You want to get past the pain. You want to begin to live your life again but it seems that no matter what you do you're faced with these emotions day in and day out. Sure, you might have a good day or two but when you least expect it, those feelings come to the surface again and you feel like you're right back where you were before.
First, stop trying to analyze everything. Stop trying to make all of this more complicated than it needs to be. Think of her just like you would any other woman. She's not perfect and she is bound to have some flaws. If you wind up putting her up on a pedastal and kissing her feet she's going to lose respect for you and you're going to start to give off a creepy vibe.
Understand that the breakup doesn't rest entirely upon your shoulders. While it might be easy to take the brunt of the blame on yourself since you are responsible for your own actions, both you and your ex are to blame for this breakup. Placing blame isn't really important though. What is important is that you learn from the past and move on towards your future.
How can you make him feel at ease around you? Ask him some prying questions. Avoid the typical questions like about his hobbies or his work or what he likes to do to relax. Think about more probing questions and allow this line of questioning to lead you to who he really is. Comment about the things he talks about by agreeing that something that he tells you must have been difficult or fun depending upon the topic. Let him open up to you and express his feelings and emotions without judgement and you will find that he will feel drawn to you and want to be around you to talk and be himself.
If you feel jealousy or insecurity creeping into your mind, remind yourself that you don't own her. Even if you were to be dating her and you both were in love, you don't own her. Even if you have caught her in a lie, be the better man and don't call her out on it. There's nothing worse than thinking that you've caught someone in a lie only to find out that you have your intel wrong. If she's spending time with you then it's for a reason. If she's chatting you up then it's for a reason. Be happy about it and if you have a hard time curbing these emotions then you need to remove yourself from the situation for a few moment while you get your head screwed back on. She will sense jealousy and insecurity also.
Getting past the pain of your breakup isn't an easy process. There are going to be times when you feel like you are cured but those black thoughts and feelings of despair might be right around the corner for you. Understanding this and being patient with yourself is something to keep in mind. You can and will feel better one day soon and the pain from this breakup will be a distant memory.
You think about your ex all the time. Every morning you relive the pain and emotions of being alone. There's anger, sorrow, depression and a feeling of worthlessness that goes along with each and every breakup no matter what the circumstances might have been.
Getting past that pain and those emotions just isn't as easy as people might lead you to believe. You want to get past the pain. You want to begin to live your life again but it seems that no matter what you do you're faced with these emotions day in and day out. Sure, you might have a good day or two but when you least expect it, those feelings come to the surface again and you feel like you're right back where you were before.
First, stop trying to analyze everything. Stop trying to make all of this more complicated than it needs to be. Think of her just like you would any other woman. She's not perfect and she is bound to have some flaws. If you wind up putting her up on a pedastal and kissing her feet she's going to lose respect for you and you're going to start to give off a creepy vibe.
Understand that the breakup doesn't rest entirely upon your shoulders. While it might be easy to take the brunt of the blame on yourself since you are responsible for your own actions, both you and your ex are to blame for this breakup. Placing blame isn't really important though. What is important is that you learn from the past and move on towards your future.
How can you make him feel at ease around you? Ask him some prying questions. Avoid the typical questions like about his hobbies or his work or what he likes to do to relax. Think about more probing questions and allow this line of questioning to lead you to who he really is. Comment about the things he talks about by agreeing that something that he tells you must have been difficult or fun depending upon the topic. Let him open up to you and express his feelings and emotions without judgement and you will find that he will feel drawn to you and want to be around you to talk and be himself.
If you feel jealousy or insecurity creeping into your mind, remind yourself that you don't own her. Even if you were to be dating her and you both were in love, you don't own her. Even if you have caught her in a lie, be the better man and don't call her out on it. There's nothing worse than thinking that you've caught someone in a lie only to find out that you have your intel wrong. If she's spending time with you then it's for a reason. If she's chatting you up then it's for a reason. Be happy about it and if you have a hard time curbing these emotions then you need to remove yourself from the situation for a few moment while you get your head screwed back on. She will sense jealousy and insecurity also.
Getting past the pain of your breakup isn't an easy process. There are going to be times when you feel like you are cured but those black thoughts and feelings of despair might be right around the corner for you. Understanding this and being patient with yourself is something to keep in mind. You can and will feel better one day soon and the pain from this breakup will be a distant memory.
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