So I'm sure you've been in a bar or club, and seen a really hot girl that you wanted to approach.
What you wanted to do was to just walk up smoothly, say something really cool that she was impressed by, and have her being captivated by you for the rest of the night.
Sadly though, all you do was look over longingly, and wish you had the confidence to go up to her.
You stood there and thought about what you should say. Desperately trying to micromanage the conversation in your own head.
How would she react if I were to say this?
If I say this and she responds in this way...what do I then say in return?
And so on.
If you were to then approach her at this point, chances are it will come off as contrived and awkward. Why?
This is because what you say will come off as though you are delivering a script, because you have rehearsed it in your head so much. It won't seem natural.
One thing that women really hate is when guys are incongruent. These means that what comes out of their mouth is not aligned with their body language.
It's exactly the same as those guys that act all loud, like they are the most confident dude on the planet, yet their body language shows a man who is shy and awkward.
When you're around this, you just feel a bit weirded out. And girls are even more in tune to sense this stuff than us guys are!
Best to be totally open about where you're at.
If you're not feeling totally confident - it's ok to say that! A lot of women find it attractive when a man can be vulnerable, but own his own vulnerability.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
This shows real strength. It shows a man who is not hiding anything or trying to be something he is not.
I promise you that women are hardly ever approached in this way. It's always loud and overconfident (comes across as fake) or quiet and underconfident (comes across as shy, boring and weak).
So why not give it a go?
What you wanted to do was to just walk up smoothly, say something really cool that she was impressed by, and have her being captivated by you for the rest of the night.
Sadly though, all you do was look over longingly, and wish you had the confidence to go up to her.
You stood there and thought about what you should say. Desperately trying to micromanage the conversation in your own head.
How would she react if I were to say this?
If I say this and she responds in this way...what do I then say in return?
And so on.
If you were to then approach her at this point, chances are it will come off as contrived and awkward. Why?
This is because what you say will come off as though you are delivering a script, because you have rehearsed it in your head so much. It won't seem natural.
One thing that women really hate is when guys are incongruent. These means that what comes out of their mouth is not aligned with their body language.
It's exactly the same as those guys that act all loud, like they are the most confident dude on the planet, yet their body language shows a man who is shy and awkward.
When you're around this, you just feel a bit weirded out. And girls are even more in tune to sense this stuff than us guys are!
Best to be totally open about where you're at.
If you're not feeling totally confident - it's ok to say that! A lot of women find it attractive when a man can be vulnerable, but own his own vulnerability.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
This shows real strength. It shows a man who is not hiding anything or trying to be something he is not.
I promise you that women are hardly ever approached in this way. It's always loud and overconfident (comes across as fake) or quiet and underconfident (comes across as shy, boring and weak).
So why not give it a go?
About the Author:
Author Chadd Pfannenstein is a battle hardened man who has spent the last decade relentlessly trying out every attraction system that there is. He is now here to show you how to get laid simply by learning how to approach women in bars and clubs.
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