Frustrated With Trying To Get Your Ex Back

By Herbert Ho


Do you feel like your ex boyfriend is being a bad little boy? Is he throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to talk to you?

Are you trying to repair your relationship and get back together but he refuses to listen to anything that you have to say? What can you do to make him listen to reason and make him see that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him?

Think of your ex girlfriend like a cat. If you chase after a cat, what is it going to do? The cat will run away. This is what makes herding cats so difficult! The same goes for many animals. If you chase after them, they will flee or fight. This is called the fight or flight instinct. It is a part of our own instinct also and it transcends relationships also.

Now, what would you do if you saw a little boy that was throwing a fit? What would be most effective in circumventing that behavior? Punishing him or giving him a stern talking to rarely works. This will only make him more angry and beligerent. Rewarding bad behavior or giving him some sort of a treat won't be apprecaited so being nice to him isn't going to work. Even acknowledging his poor behavior only reinforces that behavior.

Likewise, with your ex-girlfriend, the best thing that you can do is to be calm, be quiet and let her come to you. She will become interested, like a cat. If there is something going on in your life, she will want to know what you're doing or what you're playing with. Once you stop chasing her, she will stop running away from you. The flight instinct will no longer be in effect. She might sit for a little while to be sure that you're not going to chase her again and then she will become interested in what you're doing.

To further enhance this effect and make your exgirlfriend more interested in what's going on in your life, be sure that there is something going on in your life. Start doing things like take up a hobby or start working out or become elusive. A woman can't stand it if you have a secret life that she doesn't know about. Doing a little counter-intelligence by appearing to have a secret is often more than they can handle. This could mean planting the seeds in the form of postings on social networking websites or telling a mutual friend that you have something going on in your life is usually all that is needed.

Sometimes it might take a week or two for your ex boyfriend to calm down. This is good because you're going to have to think of something that you can plan or do that would be interesting to him. Maybe you can take up a new hobby or go away for a weekend. Start attending classes at your local community college. Do something to make him wonder what you're up to, where you're going and who you're spending time with. Once he's done with his little temper tantrum he'll seek you out to find out what you're up to. He will see that your life is interesting and fun without him in it and he'll want to become a part of it.

These two steps are a good basic way to get your ex back. Allow some time to pass and create a life that your ex would be interested in being a part of. Once there is interest and the smoke has cleared from the breakup, you can gently remind your ex of all the pleasant and fun memories that you had together. There's no pushing or convincing or trickery here. This is just good, basic relationship advice that can help you to get your ex back.




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