The Background Of Marriage In China

By Pete Stone


Although weddings remain an exceptionally big portion of Chinese culture, it's changed dramatically over the las decades. Back many years ago, marriages and weddings were determined by families, following rules outlined by ancient traditions. According to a popular Chinese legend, couples determined to marry were considered to have invisible red strings, connecting them, tied around their ankles when they are small children. As they become older the strings gets shorter and shorter until the time is right for them to finally meet. Ancient Chinese people believed that nothing could severe the strings. Not distance, changing circumstances or love. To them, marriage was considered to be destiny.

Throughout the Communist era, the wedding details were often determined by neighborhood councils and governmental units. Couples were often required to get permission from their employers before they are able to marry. Later in the 1950s new laws banned many of the practices associated with traditional marriages: multiple wives, child marriages, the sale of sons or daughters for marriage purposes, arranged marriages, minor marriage, bride-price, and concubinage. It was during this time, that girls received the ability to divorce. Monogamy was strictly enforced. Adulterers were often treated harshly. In modern day China, families have regained their control over the marriage situation, and in 2003 some rules were eased and laws were passed, which prevented couples from depending on their employers to get married.

Before, marriage was viewed as a family concern. Families united by marriage were expected to be of equivalent financial status, or the groom's family to be of somewhat higher status. This aspect of marriage patterns continues as the definitions of status have changed. Because inherited wealth has been eliminated as a significant factor, evaluation has moved to estimates of earning power and future prosperity. The most desirable husbands have been administrative cadres, party members, and employees of large state enterprises. Conversely, men from poor villages have had difficulty finding wives.

Many traditional ideas toward the household have survived without getting reviewed. In China, it is expected that everybody should marry, and marriage remains part of the definition of normal adult status. Even though this is slowly changing, marriage is still somewhat expected to be permanent. The tradition that marriage demands a woman to move into her husband's family and to turn into a daughter-in-law in addition to a wife remains largely accepted. The norm of patriarchal descent as well as the assumption that it is the son who bears the primary responsibility for his aged parents remain. The Chinese government has devoted great effort to controlling the amount of births and also have tried to limit the number of children per couple. Interesting enough, the authorities have never attempted to control population growth by suggesting that some individuals should not marry at all.

For Westerners, marriage choices are typically determined by individual notions of love or romance, or at least that is how we see it. But in the majority of China, marriage is, above all, about family and community. It wasn' t until very recently that love actually plays a role in marriages in China. Asians overall have traditionally regarded marriages as a bonding of homes instead of individuals. People are not thought to be individual children of God but rather as individuals a household.




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